Here and Now…

Here and Now…

This piece has absolutely nothing to do with one of my favorite songs by Luther Vandross, ‘Here and Now.’ (Haha) But, it was certainly written with every human in mind. Therefore, when you feel like dancing, dance…even if you have two left feet. Don’t have a singing voice, but love to sing regardless? Sing out loud like you are in the choir with angels. Take yourself out to lunch or to the movies when you feel like it. You don’t need to be two to be happy. Want to shave or braid your hair just because you want to? It’s your head the last time you checked. Feel like traveling and can afford to? Well, make those reservations and have a wonderful time. Need some ‘vitamin sea’ but the beach is far from you? Step outside, shut your eyes, take one deep breath, and spread your arms like you want to hug the earth. All you (we) have is here and now. Not tomorrow, for it is far away, and yesterday is gone.

Here and now, my alone time matters to me A LOT. It is part of my self-care. I use it to intentionally take care of my mental health, physical health, and spiritual well-being. I also use it to reminisce on what is, what was, and what could be. But, I focus more on what is because “shoulda, coulda, woulda don’t count.” Here and now is all that we have. When now is here, we should make the best out of it, unapologetically.

Dr. Seuss said, “Sometimes, you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”

A shot of this and that could be the miracle someone has been praying for here and now. Be THAT blessing for a beating heart.

Recently in September, close to midnight, I ended up in the ER – Emergency Room. In between those moments, while being monitored by different nurses and waiting for the doctor, I felt so alone in that cold room. A conversation or chat with a friend at that moment could have warmed my heart. Then, my mind went on overdrive with different thoughts and emotions. “What if I unexpectedly died here? Oh my God! No one knows that I am here,” I thought to myself. You see, I am not afraid of death because it completes the circle of life. But, I would certainly love to live fulfilled and healthy until one hundred and still look foxy (winked). Anyway, the excruciating pain that grounded me went on overdrive, and all I could do was pray while the pain meds made me feel like I had four shots of 1972 Grand Marnier – not on the rocks. Suddenly, I felt this sudden peace in my spirit. It was grace!

It is necessary to remember that the time we have on earth and the lemons that life throws at us are pre-destined. Therefore, how we live or not live each day is up to us. Well, to an extent. Just like humans, life is unpredictable. But there are certain situations and outcomes that are either within our control or beyond us. What do we do? We should do what we can. Regardless of our situation or the season we are in, grace remains.

It’s interesting how we gather when someone dies, but not celebrate them in life. It also baffles me each time I hear the tiresome line, “I want to go and pay my last respect.” (Rolling my eyes here). How can we respect the dead, but disrespect the one whose heart still beats? Even after they either spoke ill of the dead, hated them in life for one reason or another, or even wished they were dead, yet, they want to go and pay their last respect? If only the dead could hear and see, wahala go dey (there will be trouble). Then, a committee of friends is formed to raise money to help with the burial expenses and support the deceased’s family. Wait! Same dead friend or family member or co-worker may have asked for your help, but you could care less because “I have so much on my plate right now,” or “I wish I could help, but…” It’s understandable when/if you are not able to help. Sometimes, being there for someone in need doesn’t always require money. A few minutes of your time can go a long way. It could be a simple, ‘How are you?’ because you genuinely want to know and help if need be. Laughter can be therapeutic. Even a hug can warm the heart, especially if it has been a while since they were embraced.

Give me fresh flowers here & now, and not on my tombstone.

When we can help a stranger, a friend, or our family here and now, do not procrastinate or choose not to, knowing that we are able to help. For those of us who believe in God, He (God) blesses us to make life somewhat easy and to bless others. However, when we choose not to be a blessing, then, we would have failed.

Ever heard of or used “quid pro quo” – “something for something” to take advantage of someone in need? I remember sometime last year, someone I trusted and considered a friend asked me to compromise myself in exchange for assisting me in getting a contract sealed (rolling my eyes). At first, I thought it was a joke because he is a joker, but he was dead serious without shame when he said, “It’s quid pro quo. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.” That was the last time I ever spoke to him. However, it’s not only women who experience such an offer for quid pro quo. My questions remain; why can’t we put ourselves in each other’s shoes and be kind without expectations? Do we forget that all it takes is a split second and a heart can lose its beats forever? “Shoulda, coulda, woulda don’t count.” Be kind here and now. When we die, we cannot take our earthly possessions with us.

It’s inhumane when we choose not to give each other hope when we can. Heaven and hell are here on earth. Destinies differ, but no one is more special. We can either be each other’s angels or sit and wine with the devil himself in our backyard. Hold on! Who’s the devil? That’s not a rhetorical question. 

Now, pause for a second, and reminisce for 90 seconds on that time when you lacked and had no hope, then, miraculously, you received what you were hoping for. Now, also imagine if it was up to Man (it could be your friend, family, or boss) to decide on your fate. Scary thought, huh? Thankfully, we cannot stop the rain, the sun from rising or setting, or a baby from crying or cooing.

Whenever you (yes, you) can touch a heart, never ever hesitate to, because here and now is all that you have. When we are kind and selfless to one another, miracles happen, and more than one life is changed. Touch a life today. Chances are, that your heart will be touched too, here and now.

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